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Requiem for the IRS Worker
I am the one, the Almighty I-R-S,
What money flows to us, is for you that much less.
My fellow workers, more than 100,000 strong,
Together we produce no wealth all day long!
In a few more years when I'm supposed to retire,
They'll replace me with another obedient hire.
In the meantime, the benefits are truly a wonder,
Thanks to the private sector, whose earnings we plunder.
Our mission statement proudly proclaims:
"To help you understand and comply, just the same."
Of course if you ask us to show you The Law,
We'll respond with a threat, if we choose to at all.
Docile Americans need not fear our intent,
For the 'privilege' of working, we merely charge rent.
But miss April 15 with your 1040 confession,
We might summon you to a Gestapo-like session.
When citizens ask, "Do we use this section, or not?"
With pinpoint precision, they reveal that we're caught.
For if we venture to answer as the text clearly reads,
The whole world will learn our intent to deceive.
With their internet searches through statutes of old,
They've assembled the decade-long lies that we've told.1
Their study of tax law brings logic to bear,
But my bosses just smile and turn a deaf ear.
When will those "tax-protestors" learn, their efforts dispersed,
That the judges, too, have "their" law rehearsed?
If a justice should hear what he cannot rebut,
He merely exclaims, "That's frivolous, now shut up."
My job is the best, I can hardly believe,
With DOJ 2 aid, we easily deceive.
Our booklets, our forms, and long publications,
Give credence to false justifications.
Our lawyers, though using every spin of resort,
Sometimes just happen to lose one in court.
When that happens they fume and growl in their diction,
To them, "justice" is always another conviction.
Our feckless Commissioner, Mark Everson,
When asked, "What makes us liable, us everyone?"
He replied with a chuckle, a slight smirk on his face,
But he evaded the question and let Hart take his place.3
Upon seeing Joe B's4 career quickly fold,
My colleagues don't question, we do as we're told,
The "service" we provide is second to none,
For "The Service" is ultimately backed by a gun.
Some of us here have a vague, fuzzy sense,
That it's Congress's laws that we're to implement.
But since the statutes and regs5 are so convoluted,
We simplify it - citizens are here by us to be looted.
Those Senators and Representatives, to D.C. you send,
To uphold the Constitution, but they merely pretend.
When asked to explain the laws they have passed,
What the hell, they might have to read them at last!
Even some in the media seem to defend,
That government can hide and choose to pretend.
To wit, David Cay Johnston of the New York Times,
Spins and shades truth about alleged tax crimes.6
Like a vampire who cries at the first ray of sun,
We cringe when we're sent Section 861.7
As cowards, the truth we dare not inspect.
We don't have to, we have phantom Parizek. 8
Those letters he sends from Ogden, Utah,
Skillfully avoid addressing this law.
A frivolous filing fee, he's glad to assess,
It's really quite simple: Ignore due process.
To the IRS, I'm loyal as long as I'm paid,
There is no other job for this I would trade.
Where else can I have such a shielded career,
Built on the backs of Americans' fear?
Since our Founding Fathers birthed this great nation,
Has there been a greater threat to Freedom's salvation?
'Tis a monstrous bureaucracy, totally out of control,
But of this tyranny too, Patriots soon will dispose.
All of us know of a life destroyed,
By the very agency that keeps us employed.
So feign if you wish that you're not to blame,
While your neighbors and friends endure all the same.
So, IRS, your days are short-numbered,
The American people for too long have slumbered.
Their patience with abuse and outright deception,
Have rekindled thoughts of King George's oppression.
Peacefully inclined, normally slow to react,
The American people want you off their back!
If spineless Congress won't to this fraud attend,
Growing resentment will bring a tumultuous end.
Peter H. McCandless
August, 2005
www.petermacshow.com
1 See the report entitled Taxable Income at www.taxableincome.net. Also see the video documentary Theft By Deception, www.theftbydeception.com.
2 DOJ stands for Department of Justice.
3 Mark Everson, the Commissioner of the IRS, spoke at a press conference in 2004. A reporter asked him what law makes an American citizen liable to pay a federal income tax. He stammered a bit, but evaded the question and then let a colleague, Dale Hart, take his place. She, too, rambled in general about taxes in Title 26, the Internal Revenue Code, but never answered the question.
4 Joe Banister was a Criminal Investigation Special Agent with the IRS. Doing his research on his own time, he compiled evidence in a book entitled Investigating the Federal Income Tax: A Preliminary Report. The evidence showed serious illegalities with the enforcement of the income tax laws. He presented this evidence to his superiors and asked them to show him any errors in his conclusions. They refused and he resigned from the IRS. For several years after that he was harassed by the IRS and ultimately charged with tax-related crimes. In June 2005 he was tried and acquitted of all charges. See www.freedomabovefortune.com
5 "regs" refers to the Code of Federal Regulations, often abbreviated "CFR".
6 David Cay Johnston frequently writes about tax issues or cases in the New York Times. He co-authored an article that appeared there on June 24, 2005, in which he implied that Joe Banister was a tax evader and he made other false allegations.
7 Section 861 is a part of the Internal Revenue Code, which discusses income from sources within the United States. The related regulations, beginning at 26 CFR 1.861-8, tell when such income is subject to federal income tax.
8 The name "Daniel Parizek" is signed to many letters that come from an IRS office in Ogden, Utah. Many people who have mentioned Section 861 in their correspondence with the IRS have received a letter from "Mr. Parizek." Someone in Utah tried to contact him by phone on several different days at the office from which the letters bearing his signature come. Parizek was never reached, hence the reference to "phantom Parizek". See www.taxableincome.net for more information about the 861 evidence.
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